There seems to be some controversy about the infamous chicken and dumplings. I have heard many a rumor about these dumplings. And as I hear these many stories I put my own story together creating the ultimate truthful* story of The Chicken and Dumplings
Chef Karen will be competing against Iron Chef Chow Doun for the ultimate prize of 1 katrillion dollars! Secret ingredient... anything you like. Lauren (14), Will (12), and Julia (7) (Ben wasn't there) will be judging to see who will become the next Iron Chef.... of the WORLD!
With 1 hour to cook the ultimate meal Chef Karen and Iron Chef Chow Doun set out on the most extreme competition of their lives. They get to work. Chef Karen is working on what looks like some sort of a dumpling soup, and it seems like Iron Chef Doun is working on some pizza.
15 minutes into the competition and Chef Karen is working hard to get those dumplings done in time. So far it seems that Chef Doun only has enough pizza for one, but is he making enough food for all 3 judges? We'll be back right after this commercial break.
Child: Mommy Mommy! Can I have some Ovaltine?!
Mother: Sure dear.
Child: Mmmmm. Ovaltine...... HOT!
And were back with 30 minutes left on the clock and Chef Karen is right on schedule for her chicken and dumplings, and Iron Chef Doun looks like he's opening up a bag of... is it candy? Yes, it looks like a big bag of Halloween candy. Let's look back at Chef Karen and see how she's doing. Wow! it looks like this is really stressful for Chef Karen as she is trying to cook the chicken to perfection and get the dumplings just right. Let's ask her how she thinks she's doing.
"Well everything is going great. What I'm trying to do is create a new taste for the judges, and I really hope they like it."
Well We hope so too. Now let's see how Iron Chef Chow Doun is doing.
"好地比萨饼在去大。以及糖果在盘子完美被放置。我在尝试而不是做出同样的膳食为每法官创造一种不同的膳食。"**
Well that sounds interesting. We have 10 minutes left on the clock, and it looks like Chef Karen might finish with a little time to spare. And Iron Chef Doun seems to be pouring a big bowl of KIX cereal.
5...4...3...2...1!
Alright Chefs, step away from your food!
Iron Chef Chow Doun will be serving his food first. He places the pizza in front of Lauren, the cereal in front of Will, and the plate of candy in front of Julia. They all take their first bite, and smiles appear on their faces.
Lauren says, "This pizza is exquisite! The way the cheese and sauce melt together on the bread, it's genius!"
Will exclaims, "This is the best bowl of cereal I've ever had. It's truly remarkable. I have nothing else to say except, well done!"
Through a mouth full of candy Julia says, "How did you know?! You knew exactly where my soft spot was. I'm not going to be able to stop, this candy is fantastic!"
The three judges eat all their food greedily forgetting completely that there is still another meal to judge.
Now it's time to see what the judges think of Chef Karen's chicken and dumplings. Each judge gets one bowl of soup.
They all stare at the soup and with a swish of their hand they all say. "It looks fine, but I'm way too full to eat anything else."
And that ends this episode of Iron Chef.... of the WORLD. Iron Chef Chow Doun gets the title and the reward money.
What is the moral of this story? If you're going to make a questionable dinner that you are testing on your family for the first time, starve your children.
As my motha always says, "Hunger is the best sauce."
*This story is completely false.
**Well the pizza is going great. And the candy is placed perfectly on the plate. I'm trying to create a different meal for each judge instead of making the same meal.
(That Chinese it totally real. It says exactly that.)
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8 comments:
The Chicken and Dumplings Story has grown larger than life and you have helped ensure its immortality.
My favorite part is when Chef Doun explains in flawless Chinese (?) that he has placed the candy perfectly on the plate and that his strategy is to create a different meal for each judge. (A trap I have stumbled into more than once.)
And, of course, the end.
Hunger IS the best sauce and courtesy demands that one refrain from eating more than a dainty appetizer during the hour or two before dinner.
Mary, this is about the most brilliant thing ever. Poor Chef Karen.
Oh Mary,
You made me laugh so hard. Brava! The Chinese characters didn't appear on my screen though. Too bad.
Mary,
I loved the story!! Brilliant!
Although I loved the real chicken and dumplings (did I mention that Chef Karen used apple cider and thyme?), I think I would also have liked Chef Chow Doun's pizza. I also would have enjoyed the candy, but Kix cereal makes me physically ill. Genetics, probably...
Thanks for the blog, and remember to eat your vegetables.
"Starve your children" is a policy I heartily endorse. And though I agree that hunger is the best sauce, chocolate fudge sauce (made with fair trade chocolate, of course) runs a close second. What you put it on is up to you.
Ha ha ha! This is definetly your best work yet! No seriously, I don't think I've read any funnier blog.
Sarah says
"I like the part when Julia fills her mouth up with candy and says 'how did you know my soft spot?' and when all three wave their hands and say that they are too full to eat the soup.
fantastic!
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